Hi, I'm Your Mother
by Sunshine and SMiles
Summary: After so many years, Shiki delivers a 'delayed' gift to Mikan. It was a thing that came from Yuka, and inside it, is a note, which Yuka never thought that Mikan would ever read. HAPPY MOTHER's DAY C:


**OOOhhh rayt! My first one shot, EVer!. (I was supposed to post this yesterday but the crazy internet conn. died-out)**

**Here's for Mother's Day, a belated one... so... enjoy guys!**

**waiTTTTTT! I'll apologize first if there will be errors below, I'm sorry, huhhu I was crying while writing~~~ **

**|| DISCLAIMER: I DON't Own GaKueN ALicE ||**

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I tapped my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as I waited for her to arrive. _"What's taking her so long?" _I thought. I looked up and sighed.

At last, she's coming, carrying a bag of groceries. Her short bob of chestnut hair shows how strong the wind is, and her face, with that new expressionless look, makes the already-cold weather colder. She opened the passenger's door, pushed the grocery bag in first and got in. I didn't start the car yet when I saw her eyes. They're teary.

"Let's get out of here…" she said in a perfect not-cracking, not-affected voice. But she can't fool me.

"What happened?" I asked, but now I'm directly looking at her. I kept my calm since she doesn't like people around her worry. But I've been with her for a long time now. I've known her story since then, so I know when to worry and what face and tone to use when I'm worrying. And I know she can't keep a secret from me anymore.

She looked up and tries to smile. It was so bitter and fake. "…saw a child in there, maybe six or seven years of age," she began. _Child and age_… she's talking about her. "She's so clumsy, she made the whole rack of biscuits fell on the floor. I didn't care before but she started crying so I helped." Then she looked down on her fingers. I continued to listen. "When I'm done, I turned on my heel to leave but the child… just came up to me so I looked back, and then…" her voice cracked, but she continued, "She was smiling at me." And tears started to fall. I looked at her gently, consoling her silently, for I know… what's she's thinking.

"Her eyes… her hair… and that… that stupid smile…" she started sobbing. "I braced myself, told myself that she's not her but an old man came, scolded the child first then came to thank me. It was him. I left before he could even recognize me. And that little girl…" she paused as if her lungs got shortage of oxygen to keep her talking, "…she's my little girl…"

I can't take it anymore. I can't just sit here and look at her crying. It's breaking my heart, too, to see her still suffer this much even when she'd sacrificed a lot already. I went near and embraced her as she continued to weep. After some minute, I saw the figure a man and a child coming out from the store.

"Let's leave, Yuka." She nodded and stayed silent, and never lifted her head. But deep inside, I know she's screaming in pain. She wants to go out of the car and take that child even if she's grasping the chair's side tightly. I can never be blind when it comes to her.

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Years passed and now I'm sitting on a park, waiting for a girl with the same chestnut-colored hair, brown eyes and pinkish white skin. Finally, after so many hours, someone sat beside me on this bench. I look beside me and was welcomed by a smile. It was the warmest thing I had so far in this cold, winter day. She looks just like her.

"Nice to see you again, Shiki-san!" she greeted.

I smiled at her too. "Same here. How's life going?" I asked her, taking a sip from my steaming cup of coffee.

"I'll be done with college this year. I just hope my thesis will go well too." She said "How about you?"

"Nice to hear that." I remarked at her good scholastic status. "I'm good. I'm enjoying the world before the academy calls me back to render my service…"

"That's great…" she complimented.

With this cold temperature, I don't have to make our prologue long and I'm not gonna stay for long, too. "I called you so I can give you this." I said as I handed her a box. "I found that when I passed by an old home last month. I thought I should give you that since it's already been delayed for years…"

She gave me a puzzled look but she took the box. I stood up at once when the box's in her hands. "I'll be going now. Please stay healthy…" I paused to look at her. I can't help thinking how much I yearn to be this girl's father so I can take care of her just like what I would do if her mother—that woman whom I solely and unconditionally loved—is still alive. "Please always smile, Mikan-chan…" and then I bowed and walked away.

I don't want to hurt her, but that box will help her realize what Yuka went through…

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**M's POV**

I went home immediately when Shiki-san went away. I've been living alone in this apartment for almost four years now, but still having a lot of fun times with my friends and Natsume. Shiki-san called a week ago and told me to meet him today and I did. It was rather a short meeting… he just gave me this box.

I stare at it first for some minutes. It's old, but beautiful. It's some kind of an expensive box with intricate designs. I got tired of 'just-looking-at-it' so I opened it, much to my surprise to find a doll. Even if I'm naïve at those moments, I can still remember this doll that I saw in a shop. I begged Ojii-chan to buy this for me because it's my birthday. But because we're just poor, we weren't able to buy it. Still he promised me that we'll save for it and buy it when I get good grades at school. He even taught I was having tantrums when I accidentally made the whole rack of stuffs fell on the floor. If not because of that lady who helped us, we could've paid damages. And later when we returned to buy the doll, this doll, it was not in the store anymore. It broke my heart. It's the first thing I ever saved for… and now it's in my hands… after all these years.

Wait—that lady!

The pressure on my head to remember the lady made me press the doll's chest and triggered something, it talked… and made me stop thinking.

"I love you… Mikan"

The voice… it was sad, it was happy, it was longing… and my name… it was wrapped in… love. It was mom's voice.

A lump starts to form in my throat as I reach inside a folded paper. It looks like a torn page when I saw it as a whole and there are scribbles on it, hand-written. Some parts of it are blurred inside little circles like something wet dropped on it. I started reading.

_December 31_

_I wasn't been able to stop those stupid tears when I saw them. I thought I'm not gonna cry again but it was automatic._

_When she tugged my coat, I looked back to send her away but I was appalled when I saw her face. I want to be proud that very moment when I saw a little 'me' smiling his father's smile. But I scolded myself for feeling that. That can be a curse to her if things get worse. "She can't be her…" I thought, but that kind, old man came and confirmed my thoughts. It was her. And I have to leave… at once._

_Why am I distancing myself from that child? Shouldn't I be hugging her, and then tell her, "hi… I'm your mother…"_

_No. I should not do that. But even if that's for the best, I don't want to._

_That very moment when I saw her smiling at me, my heart melted with the warmth. It was amazing how I thought of so many things in just a flash of a moment. I can just imagine how everyday would be like, how my winters could be suddenly summer and spring if I can see that smile. My ears, with my heart flutters as I think of how it would sound like when she calls me 'Mommy' or 'Mama'. My stomach, I can still feel butterflies in it whenever I would think of those times that I can hold her near and kiss her. I can still think of those nights when I would stay awake to watch her sleep and then she'll smile, and the all the pain fades away._

_I want to regret leaving her. I want to scold myself for not being there for her when she falls on the ground and not being there to pick her up and help her stand again. I hate myself for not being there in those times that she's sick and she needs a hand to hold her. I hate myself for not being able to hug her and kiss her, and tell her that everything's gonna be okay because 'mom's here' when she's feeling sad. I feel guilty for not being able to read her stories, teach her how to pray and then lull her to sleep in those nights when she can't fall asleep._

_And sometimes, I wish I could cheer her up at school festivals. I wish I could go on tours with her and teach her about everything under the sun. I wish I could run after her when she refuses to take a bath, comb and style her hair, cook for her, go to carnivals with her. _

_I want to do so many stuffs with her. I want to tell her about so many things. I want to tell her that I… love her so much. I want to say I'm sorry for leaving her. I want to keep her in my arms and kiss her._

_But I can't. I can't because I love her so much, I don't want her to be in danger. I'd rather suffer and feel this pain as long as I live than to see her hurt. That's how I love her._

_I'm pathetic. I bought the doll but I can't give it to her. What if I write something for her? It's not gonna be embarrassing since she will not receive it. I'm a piteous fellow._

_Hi there, Mikan. My name's Yuka… and… I'm your mother._

_I heard that you're gonna celebrate later because it's your birthday. Well, my dear, to tell you the truth, it's not really your birthday, but I'm glad that Jii-chan gave you a birthday, and I'm happy that you're celebrating it._

_You know, when I gave birth to you, I was the happiest person alive. I was happy to see you. Even if you're dad's not there, I can imagine him jumping in joy._

_Mikan, you are our dream. You're the most precious thing we—your father and I—have. You're a gift from heaven. So, in that first time I laid hands on you, I told myself that I'll protect you because you're my only sunshine, you're my only hope, the reason to live. And I promise to do that with my life._

_But life's just not in favor of me and I don't want you to be with me in my misfortunes. I've put you in so much danger that I almost lose you. I don't want to lose you just like your dad and my bestfriend._

_As a mother, I only prayed for what's best for you. I want you to have a normal life… like this, even if I'm not included. I want you to be free and happy, that's why I left you, that's why I let you go. I'll keep my promise no matter what._

_I want to be with you. I want to watch you grow prettier and prettier each day. I want to be the first one to teach you everything. I want to watch over you. I want to tell you every second that I love you._

_I don't know if someday, you'll know all of these though I wish you won't. I'm sorry for being selfish._

_I don't know also, if I will ever meet you again, and if I can give you this gift. But… I wish, as I always do, that even if I can't see you, hold you nor kiss you, I wish you know… that I love you so much._

_And someday… I hope you will understand why I did this._

_I love you Mikan. You mean everything to me._

_Please… always smile._

_Love,_

_Yuka._

"I love you too, Mom…" I was able to say in between tears. Until now I may never know the feeling of having a mother for so long. I may not know all of those feeling, but thank Heavens, I know how much my mom, and my dad also, love me.

I may not be a lucky one to spend years with them like others do, but at least… I have parents whom I can be proud of.

"I'll always smile…"

:')

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**So... guys...**

**I'll ask a different favor this time. I love your reviews and I'll be delighted to have them, but this time, It's okay if you forget to review or you'll be lazy to write one... Just go to your Mom, and tell her you love her if you do.**

**..." we may never know when it's too late... already."**

**s&S =(^.^)=**


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